Talking with your child is also about vocabulary building. You want your children to learn words you want them to use. You don’t want your children to get into the habit of using curse words, slang, and other inappropriate words. Parents must be responsible. As a parent, you need to limit what your child is exposed to, not only from you, but other people.
Letting your children watch shows or be around people that do not limit their word usage is going to affect your child. Additionally, if you do not point out the proper words and help your child build their vocabulary, they will suffer later on in life.
Parenting is about providing what is essentially and morally correct. You do not want your child to be considered a “potty mouth” or to be uneducated because they were exposed to the wrong words or not given a chance to build a better vocabulary.
Don’t be afraid of using words your children may not understand yet. Like with reading, you want to start building your children up and help them gain more confidence. You can do this by teaching them new words, even before they are going to learn it in school.
School can help your children with spelling, and your use of words helps them know the meaning the minute they hear it in school (providing it is a word you keep using).
Reflecting on your Choice of Phrasing
Parents need to work on how they phrase things in conversations with their kids. Baby talk is not the concern. It is the negative way talking can occur. The word “no” can become just as bad a word to your child as a curse word. Negative statements make your child feel bad.
How you phrase something can have a lasting effect on your child. If you are always negative, they will remember this negativity and be pessimistic in their behavior. Your child may also suffer from low self-esteem.
By phrasing your words in a more positive light during your interactions you can make your child feel more comfortable around you and others. For example, “I love you, but I am disappointed in the choice you just made.” It tells your child that you truly love them and want the best, and that you are unhappy with the decision they made—not with who they are.
Parenting is about knowing how your words are going to affect your child. The wrong tone, phrase, or words will do their damage, but the right phrasing will ensure your child understands they were in the wrong.
Honesty and Stories
Two other very important concepts about teaching your children and interacting with them, verbally, are: honesty and stories. Children love stories; particularly, about you and early stories about themselves. If you have a discipline problem, you can use stories, funny voices, and eventually get the concept explained to your child.
For example, if there are things that upset you or make you sad, you can tell a childhood story of such an occasion. This validates your child’s feelings, while reinforcing the point you are trying to make.
You always want to validate what your child is trying to tell you.
Listen to their words, body language, and assess the situation.
If you start off with anger and misunderstandings, then you will have more of a problem.
Starting out calm is best. A calm tone, questions, and a story will help.
Never lie to your child during your communications.
Also share your thoughts. They might be an adult, perhaps you are discussing a presidential election and why you are voting for someone versus the other candidate. Your child might not know everything about the topic, but they will learn. Your child will also enjoy being talked with on a subject that is considered “adult.”
If you do not know something, Google and other search engines are always handy. Don’t pretend you know about a subject. Say “I’m not sure. I need to look it up or I think this is correct, but I will check.”
You also have to apologize for your mistakes when you are in the wrong. It shows your child that it is not bad to make mistakes, as long as you admit to them.
These interactions will help your child grow, become responsible, and have better communication. Communication is essential for raising a smart, special child. A lot of the trouble with adults is that they never learned to properly communicate.
They whined or cried or simply demanded versus learning how to communicate with respect and respecting another’s answer. A child does not always have to play the game their sibling wishes to play. However, asking politely is a necessity.
You will discover ways to address communication situations. Parenting is going to require you to be calm, disciplined, and consistent. The best parents are the ones that listen, even if the request or words from a child are “childish.” The maturity level has to develop, so problems arising over not getting ice cream is normal. But being unhappy and discontent over every little thing is not good.